Potato Chip Man Yoga Retreat

snow & sign & shed

He’d take a little bit of household garbage, the kind that can’t be recycled or the kind that can’t be composted, and crumple it up. Then he’d take that little bit and a little bit more than that and crumple it up, and when he had crumpled up many small bits of garbage and stuffed all the small bits of crumpled up garbage into a medium-sized, empty potato chip bag, he’d put the stuffed bag of garbage filling the potato chip bag by his front door. Later on, when he had to leave the house to drive to town, he’d push the garbage-filled potato chip bag into the public trash barrel that stood outside the grocery store where he went food shopping. That way, he could reduce by many times the trips he would have had to have made to the local dump to throw out a large, 39 gallon trash bag filled with garbage for 6 dollars a bag. Meanwhile, his ex-girlfriend would take out-of-state trips to Yoga Retreat Centers, big ones with recognizable names in the Northeast. She’d meet wonderful, upper-middle class people there like herself and do poses and stretches and eat high quality vegetarian food and make close new friends, and eligible middle-aged men whose cars were even nicer than hers was. Since she was sterilized, sex was never a problem with people from the get-go, even though it meant everything everybody had it got spread around like a very thin layer of peanut butter that nobody could taste or see but which everybody became infected by. Yes, for sure, no doubt, everybody in her social circles now they were bound to be rich, flexible in body, and totally gung-ho about living life. He, on the other hand, with his beautiful solitary mind, would never again waste a moment. His poverty made him aware of every action; his thinking made him, whenever he talked at all now, which was seldom anymore, aware of his few remaining spoken words.

10 thoughts on “Potato Chip Man Yoga Retreat

  1. Amazing! I thought the garbage stuffed potato chip bag was brilliant and makes a terrific decoy, too, to carry about town. The one thing about this post I’ll not forget is how you linked sexually transmitted disease to peanut butter! I cringed then burst out laughing. 😀 I never know what to find here at your blog, and I love that feeling. Fist bump!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you. In this strange little perilous world of writing, it is a great comfort to me that, before the sun has risen, you as a reader connect and find the comedy in my wry little tales. Believe me, I am very grateful to the care and attention you have been giving my work.

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  3. You’re an amazing writer! I love connecting with talented people. Your “wry, little tales” are truly one of the best written — granted, your tales are sometimes written somewhat abstractly, that I need to read them carefully in order to grasp the full scope of your brilliance (I can be a bit slow!).

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    1. In the great vacuum of life, please know that your words mean quite a bit to me. You are a steadfast reader who really listens, and I know that. I’m really grateful to be the time and effort (re-reading!) you give to my words. And of course you know I love to read your own wry little pieces. I’d be very glad to learn of other talented people you feel I ought to be paying attention to. I’m pretty green as to how to find people, and all the navigational aspects of this entire blogosphere…just a newbie.

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      1. Your Yoga Retreat post inspired me, and I’ll be writing soon about it. I’ll link to your blog, and hopefully, we’ll have some visitors to your place. Make some soup 🙂 I’ve only started in June, so I’m far from an expert, but I do know some talented people who would love to make your acquaintance!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s very cool of you and generous. I ought to figure out this “linking” business, eh? But….I just gathered some hearty veggies and some super hot peppers (habenero and cayenne) from my garden and was, indeed, on my way to actually making that soup. 😉

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